Okay, so far - these are my thoughts on some bourbons and Scotch whisky.
Maker's Mark Bourbon - Took my whiskey virginity? Sweet, easy, and a giver. I have positive feelings, despite the awkward bottle.
Knob Creek Bourbon - Super scrump, I might like this a bit more than Maker's Mark. Has more oomph, less sweetness.
Bulleit Rye Whiskey - Augh! Take it away. My spit tastes like Clint Eastwood's stubbly jaw. AUGH.
Glenlivet single-malt Scotch - Maybe took my Scotch whisky virginity? Now I can't remember. Featured prominently in the movie Bound. At first I found it difficult to drink, but now somehow I can sip it up like a hummingbird. Isn't that sweet.
Glenfiddich single-malt Scotch - Fine, just fine, but my favorite part might actually be the deer in their logo. Glenfiddich translates to Stag's Glen, I'll have you know. What I need is a side-by-side tasting of different whisky-ness.
McCallan's 14 (I think) single-malt Scotch - Tasty! Smoky, complex, substantial. Made me think of butch things like creaking leather jackets and battered wallets in back pockets. Sexy, fancy, flavorful. I like!
McClelland's Islay single-malt Scotch - Yep, it's smoky. I think that might be all. A little light, seems to lack depth of flavor. Not my favorite. (Wow, I sound like such a pompous asshole. Maybe this review business was a bad idea.)
Oban 14 single-malt Scotch - Current favorite! Sexy, substantial, so pleasing to sip. All kind of flavors creeping in. I thought about it while I swallowed. I felt pleasure. Maybe I just like vintage adult beverages.
Highland Park 12 single-malt Scotch - not as sexy or interesting as Oban, but still much better than McClelland's Islay. I may be developing an arbitrary liking for whisky of dark amber hues. This is pleasant stuff. I have no trouble sipping it. I'm probably an honorary Scottish person by now.
I would like to sample Talisker, Laphroig, Glenmorangie, and other single-malts I can't pronounce. Who knew that Scotch was such a sexy drink. With all those consonants and all. (Now I have to be a power lesbian so I can afford this habit.)
Dewar's blended Scotch is harsh by comparison. Ditto the Chivas Regal, in spite of all that shiny foil packaging. I was not pleased.
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